Sunday, September 20, 2009

We made it.

We got back from the road trip a day late, and with some unexpected new tires, but we returned Monday in one piece from the mountains of North Georgia and western North Carolina.

The pictures are still on the camera, but there are some memories that came in the form of lessons learned -- and those don't need to be downloaded.

I compiled a few of the "notes to self" that we filed away throughout the trip.

•A mountain road that is known by bikers as the Tail of the Dragon can be treacherous -- and really bad for tires on a pickup truck.

•In western North Carolina, you're never more than 1,000 feet from a Baptist church. One of them was literally called the Cowboy Church, which was "rounding up a few good men for Jesus." (I didn't want to say anything, but it sounded to me like that particular congregation may fit right in here in Key West.)

•Don't look for beer on Sundays in a convenience store with three "Jesus is Lord" signs out front.

•Stifle your rant about separation of church and state when your 13-year-old nephew tells you 40 kids were "saved" (as in dunked in water and baptized) at FOOTBALL PRACTICE.

•Be indescribably proud and relieved that the principal of the school is enlightened enough to unequivocally expel a student for calling your black nephew -- the only African-American student in the entire county -- a racial slur during Student Council voting. "God doesn't see color and neither do I," the principal said when our nephew chose wisely not to fight the redneck bigot and instead told the principal what had transpired in the treacherous hallways of middle school.

And now a note about Wal-Mart ...

Say what you will about the megastore and its effect on small-town shops, but then try to find one of those mom-and-pop shops that will fix tires on a Sunday in the Bible belt.

No sir, you can't, and Wal-Mart saved our country-fried bacon when one tire blew out on the Tail of the Dragon and a second went flat immediately upon our arrival back to the lakefront cabin in Georgia.

Besides, what other one place in the world lets you decorate your baby's nursery, buy new camouflage hunting pants that have fabric leaves hanging off and get your nails done -- all while a crew in the back puts four new tires on your truck?

Of course, some folks we encountered looked like they may have shopped for nursery decorations and hunting pants in the same aisle. I just know there's a camo crib out there somewhere with a tiny baby nestled inside wearing a bright orange jumpsuit.

Safety first ...

In addition to Wal-Mart, we were saved (not in the Baptist way) by the enduring connection between brothers and sisters and two best friends. My sister-in-law-to-be found us on the side of the mountain road and made sure we got the first of what would be two necessary spare tires. And the never-ending friendship between two country boys provided us with a second spare tire, and then a great deal on four barely-used tires that Wal-Mart graciously installed for less than 60 bucks.

We were on the road and headed south -- with sunburned faces, muscles that ached from water skiing and four good tires -- along with memories and a renewed friendship that both will last a lifetime.

Thanks to Chris, Julie, Leslie and Matt for just being there. We had a great time and wouldn't have traded it for all the world.

mbolen@keysnews.com