Friday, October 16, 2009

I successfully got another punch-mark on my "Cool Keys Experiences" card last week. Two more and I get a free hero at Ralph's deli.

I went shark fishing, which I learned was a great conversation starter later that night at the local pub. The fine folks at SeaSquared Charters are avid readers of my column, and just about every other piece of media that comes out of this town, and knew that I had previously lamented about my awful fishing ability.

Christy Johnson suggested I spend a day shark fishing with her husband, Capt. Chris John. This seemed like a fairly large leap for somebody whose previous big catch was an accidently hooked seagull, but why not. Christy said the process was simple and e-mailed me this gem before the trip.

"[Once on the boat] you will have some waiting time as the water bloodies up and the shark start coming in."

That e-mail was surprisingly not picked up by my "potential murderer" junk filter.

I decided such a manly endeavor would require the proper attire. Record high temperatures be damned, I wore a black T-shirt and black shorts. I was mocked upon my arrival to the dock. They said I would be hot as hell wearing all that black. I said I was the Johnny Cash of shark fishing.

My attire wasn't all that bad. Chris noted during the trip the sharks can be spooked by white shirts on the boat. Sweating profusely, I declared that I was now a shark fishing ninja.

Chris has several spots mapped out where the shark fishing is good, depending on the tides. Despite this column being named "Tide Waters," I really have no clue how tides work. Where does the water go when it leaves? Is the moon involved somehow?

Upon reaching our destination, Chris began the process of chopping up bait fish that were larger than anything I have ever caught. On cue about 45 minutes later we had our first guests, although Chris was a little too dismissive for my liking when I asked for the protocol should a shark jump in the boat and start attacking us. Apparently my fears of such an attack are unfounded. Whatever. I watch movies, I know the deal.

Shark fishing is interesting for the fact that you can pretty much see your potential catch circling the chum line casually, and almost drop your line right on top of them if you are so skilled (I am not). Once hooked, the entire game changes. The shark -- in that day's case the lemon variety -- takes off after being hooked, spooling out yards of line in the process. Although the natural inclination is to fight that chase with all you've got, patience is now the name of the game.

After a quick lesson on how to properly reel in a big fish, the battle begins. It is all give and take with a shark. The water beast pulls out five yards of line, you pull in six. Eventually I somehow wore the shark down and got it to the side of the boat. Now it is time to fin this beast and sell my wares on the black market.

Just kidding of course. The sharks are let go just as we found them, perhaps a little tired from doing battle with such a fierce desk jockey such as myself. The shark can now tell his friends he was bested by a guy who writes pithy stories about local city council meetings for a living. Try living that moment down on the underwater playground, sharky.

Chris said that children as young as 8 years old have been able to reel in sharks. Apparently, parents love taking kids out for a day shark fishing since it seems to suck all of the energy out of them. I, too, felt like a nap after the day was done.

We caught and released 10 sharks on the day. In addition, I caught and kept my manhood that has been lost ever since I spent an entire day fishing only to come up with something called a cowfish as a result. You can view more pictures of my endeavor at www.seasquaredcharters.com.