Sunday, November 1, 2009

There is a line from an old Cary Grant movie: "Carry an umbrella and it never rains."

The same is true for a negotiation. Nothing matters more than preparation. Whether you are closing a business deal, or talking to your significant other about putting more time into the relationship, the problem for most of us is that we do not plan well.

Think about what you would do if you decided it was time for a raise. Before walking into your boss' office, you would probably think of the dollar amount you want, and how you might ask for it.

That is fine, but if your planning ends there, don't expect much from the negotiation. Your boss simply has to explain that the organization is tight on funds, and can't do it. Then what? Conversation is over. Have a nice day.

Take the time to prepare thoroughly by taking three crucial steps. You can write these down, talk them out to someone you trust, or just go through them in your mind.

Step 1: Understand the positions.

In my last column, I explained that positions are the stance we take in a negotiation. Positions should be stated in your own mind in one sentence and they should be as specific as possible. For example, "I want a raise of $10 per hour."

Once you know your position, try to imagine the most likely position statement of the other person. Your boss' counter position might be, "We can only give you $5 more per hour."

Step 2: Identify the needs.

Behind every position is a need. The best way to get to the need is to ask yourself one simple question: Why do I want this? Ask that same question about the other person's need.

In the case of a raise, the need isn't about money only; it's also about feeling fairly compensated and appreciated for your work. The need for compensation and appreciation may be met in a number of ways, including stock options, scheduling flexibility, employee training and other perks.

When you walk into a negotiation with clarity on the needs, you open up options for satisfying both people.

Step 3: Know your bargaining chips and chops.

Think of a chip as a poker chip, something you are prepared to lose if necessary. Think of a chop as a karate chop, the action you'll take if negotiation proves impossible.

In the case of the raise, come up with at least three scenarios that you would be willing to accept if offered. For example, you may want $10 more, but would you accept a $7 per hour increase with the ability to leave early on Fridays?

In this case, your chip is $3. Don't offer your chip right away, but have it ready to offer in case you need it.

What if you suspect that your boss will be adamant about giving you nothing? Your chop might be to quit your job, or to go above your boss' head.

Chops are never pleasant and you should only use them when all else fails. The best thing about knowing your chop in advance is making sure you don't say something you regret in the heat of the moment.

These three steps give you clarity and confidence to negotiate for the best possible outcome. There is no such thing as being over prepared, so take the time to plan, and keep that umbrella close at hand. You never know when it's going to rain.

Elisa Levy conducts seminars on conflict resolution and anger management. For more information, contact her at 305-296-5437 or visit http://www.elisalevy.com.