Friday, November 13, 2009

Election season is over, and with it goes the civic sense of partying.

Not political parties. Marathon's election's don't pay any mind to Republicans and Democrats anyway. I'm talking about campaign parties.

That's right, campaign parties, which are also known as a reason to go and get drunk and eat buffet food on a random Wednesday. You thought that kind of reckless abandon was saved for the safe haven of a weekend, but not during election season.

Every year, prospective candidates hold a series of mixers at local eateries and watering holes to meet the public and raise some funds. Now that Marathon votes with the big boys in November, you could potentially make a social career out of campaign season if the ballot is big enough.

You can't very well vote in an election without getting to know the candidates. Just as candidates hit the streets to meet voters, you need to hit our local hotspots to meet the candidates. During election season, you cannot be chastised for partying on a Wednesday night.

"I'm just doing my civic duty," you could say to such judgemental people, before they politely point out that there doesn't seem to be any candidate campaign parties meeting outside of Dion's at 2 a.m. And if there were, they probably would not be serving homemade moonshine at such an event.

I don't go to campaign parties. For one I am not allowed since I cover the local elections, and two I hate wearing name tags.

For some reason, this town is crazy about name tags. Go to a local chamber after-hours event and try and sneak by the door without someone sticking a name tag on you. What is with all the urgency? Is this name tag going to track my progress when you release me back into the wild after this party?

Furthermore, this is a town that loves nothing more than to attach the "local celebrity" stamp on everyone who passes through. Do you repair roofs wearing nothing but a speedo? Stamp. Are you in a local band? Stamp. Do you write an incredible weekly column for a local newspaper's new "On Tap" section? Oh yea, that is a stamp.

The only reason someone in Marathon would need a name tag is if they just parachuted into a party. Don't worry though, someone around here will find out something about you that will be interestingly embarrassing enough very quickly. After that, we will commence the ceremony of attaching some weird moniker to you that we believe sums up your entire life.

And now that we have finally accepted you as a part of this town, make sure you attend candidate "X's" bungee jumping campaign kick off event at the top of the Seven Mile Bridge. Food, drinks and a horrifyingly unsafe extreme sport will be served.

Those days are over for now. So until next November, you have to wait for socially acceptable reasons to party on a weeknight. Shoot for reasons like birthdays, anniversaries or finally willing yourself out of bed after spending two days in sweatpants watching an Intervention marathon on A&E.