Mandy Miles' - "Tan Lines"
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Jangled jingles are tough to shake

I was subconsciously chanting the Hillshire Farms' "Go meat" commercials for three straight days, and it was about to drive me crazy.

There are few things more annoying to me than those commercials, and I can't believe I didn't include them in my recent list of household aggravations.

The people in the commercial are fake happy, the rhythm is forced and the lyrics are ridiculous. Yet I can't stop chanting, "Ain't no brat like a Hillshire Farm brat -- cause the Miller High Life's boiled in."

It sounds awkward, as if they're trying to jam too many words into one line. It's difficult to say, but I was managing rather well for three straight days.

Then there's the, "I say Hillshire, you say Farm. Hillshire. Farm. Hillshire. Farm. Go meat."

Yes, I know them all by heart, including the one with the kid auctioning off a smoked turkey sandwich, but they have not yet proven effective, as I have not been in the market for lunch meat or beer-boiled brats.

The three-day jingle odyssey did lead me to a little online research, and I learned that the song snippets or commercial jingles that repeat themselves in our minds are called earworms.

It's sort of a gross mental picture, but sounds accurate enough.

I also read a few suggestions on how to get rid of such earworms. One online contributor said to embrace the song or jingle by singing it out loud, the whole way through, a few times.

Another person advised readers to pay attention to the earworm. Take note of when it occurs, how long it lasts and where you are when it invades.

The worm had disappeared by the time I started writing this column, although I'm a little nervous that the typing of the lyrics will bring it back.

But it did launch a conversation about other catchy jingles.

Remember, "You deserve a break today -- at McDonald's?"

That one was great. And then there are the nostalgic favorites that Stan and I recalled the other night.

Which were your favorites?

We came up with a few.

"Kleenex says bless you."

"The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup."

"My bologna has a first name; it's O-S-C-A-R ..."

"I am stuck on Band Aid, 'cause Band Aid's stuck on me."

"Ten million strong -- and growing."

"Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there."

They just don't write them like they used to.

Last year I was repeatedly traumatized by Subway's "Five, five dollar, five dollar foot long" commercial that sunk its hooks into me, along with the entire "Free Credit Report.com" repertoire with the pirate, renaissance fair, bicyclist and guy living in his parents' basement.

And has anyone else dealt with the daytime television jingles?

How about "...when you need cash now ... call J.G. Wentworth 877-CASHNOW. It's your money; use it when you need it."

These are the sounds of our society, and we can't escape them, so we learn to live with them.

I would assume the shareholders of Kleenex, Folgers, Flintstone vitamins, Oscar Mayer and even Hillshire Farm are thrilled by the fact that their ads help define a society.

But now I have to apologize in advance for the earworm that one of the above-mentioned jingles is sure to produce.

You can always retaliate simply by chanting, "Ain't no brat ..."

mmiles@keysnews.com