Chris Belland's - "Hindsights & Insights"
Sunday, August 29, 2010
What it takes for success in school is pretty much the same for life

By CHRIS BELLAND Citizen Columnist

An open letter to the sons and daughters (including my own) of our community:

As you begin the new school year, I wanted to share some thoughts about the elements of endeavor and accomplishment, and the difference between failure and success. I do this knowing much of what I say may go unheeded, for we sometimes must make our own decisions and subsequent mistakes. I know I did.

Anything built to last has a foundation. Make no mistake that you are building your life and the only foundation for a successful, fulfilling and happy life is integrity. "My word is my bond" is more important than ever before in today's fast-moving, disconnected society. The firm handshake and direct look in the eye have an indefinable power that can overcome fear, doubt and most obstacles in human relations. Integrity builds trust, which is a two-way street but as fragile as a spider's web. In all undertakings, you will either have integrity or you won't. There is no degree of it.

Everything you do in school and in life will involve the quid pro quo of human relations. You will take and you will give. Over 2,000 years ago, the rabbi philosopher Hillel said, "If I am not for myself, who will be? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?"

This has always meant to me that we must first be for ourselves. We are obliged to do those things that are in our best self-interest so long as they do not unduly or unfairly harm others. At the same time, we cannot achieve anything without the help of others, or be much of a human being without helping others in return. Today is not a rehearsal for tomorrow; today is a gift and tomorrow only a hope. "Now" is a moving target that will change the moment you read the word, but "now" is always when you should seek to do and be your best.

Contrary to the popular saying, opportunity knocks many times in life, but sometimes it is a fleeting chance to do, say or be a person of whom you can be proud. At the same time, it is true that, "The time and tide wait for no man." Get the best information that you can, listen to the people you trust and, finally, rely on your own counsel and when that is done, seize the day!

A very wise man in dirty clothes driving a rusty pickup truck once told me, "Pride goeth before a fall." He turned out to be the richest man in the town where I grew up, and it taught me a great lesson in prejudging people. I also took to heart his words, a quote from a biblical verse. It is well to go through life with a self-awareness of who you are and of what you are capable. There is nothing to be gained from being superior, because there will always be someone smarter, faster or better looking than you. Always be nice to people on your way up through life because you may very well meet them on the way down.

Never confuse failure as loss, or success as gain. Failure can be the greatest teaching experience you will ever have. Mark Twain once said, "Good judgment comes from experience, much of which comes from bad judgment." True success is not material gain, but growth of the human spirit. Remember in every contest or endeavor there is an outer game and an inner contest. No matter what the score or possessions realized in the outer game may be, as long as you learn from your actions, you will never lose at anything you do and you will grow as a person.

Sign your work, your relationships and your charity with the best of yourself. Many times it will not be enough and when it is not, be accountable for your actions.

Do not be afraid to be yourself. There has never been anyone like you before, there is no other one like you now and there will never be someone like you in the future. You are unique. Embrace this. Conformity is repaid with mediocrity. Individuality is graced with the blessing of knowing yourself and reaching your own potential.

Finally, there are two immutable secrets of the universe that ensure happiness and success that the most learned of people sometimes miss. First, you will get everything you want in life in direct proportion to how much you help other people get what they want. Second, do more than what people expect of you.

Put a different way, tell the truth, show up on time and say please and thank you. Oh, and don't talk with your mouth full.

Chris Belland's Hindsights & Insights column appears here on Sundays. Belland also writes a biweekly column on environmental issues, which runs in our Sunday magazine, Solares Hill. All of his previous columns are available on his blog: hindsightsandinsights.blogspot.com. Contact Chris at cbelland@keysnews.com.