Sunday, August 23, 2009

This is a selfish column.

It's the last of my 2009 series on Cuba, and I want to write about selfishness.

The Spanish word for selfish, egoista, is perfect. Egotistical.

The definition of ego to which I'm referring -- because there's more than one -- is "conceit, egotism," according to Señor Webster. And egotism is "constant, excessive references to oneself in speaking or writing."

Freud said the ego is the part of our psyche that's focused on the external, and it's a mediator between our primal impulses and our built-in filter.

The ego, the ego, the ego -- how does it relate to Cuba?

Well, I think most Cuban men are egotistical, but their circumstances may allow an excuse.

I've had a few "conversations" with Cuban men, or Cubanos. I used quote marks because I'm pretty sure they're supposed to be two-way.

One Cubano, apropos of nothing, told me he used to be an alcoholic but had turned his life around with Alcoholicos Anonimos, Alcoholics Anonymous.

He said because of AA, he had gotten back his job, kids and wife, and even had a girlfriend now! And he was pretty sure another woman was interested in him, too.

Nice. Nothing like a proud, sober philanderer.

Other Cubanos managed at least to ask me where I was from before completely taking over. Not one Cuban male asked me about my work.

Clearly my job was to listen to them. Another Cubano told me divorce is no big deal for a man -- he just looks for another woman! Apparently it's harder on the mujeres (women).

I guess if all you do is talk about yourself, all that's needed is a set of ears. Oh, there's free labor thrown in, too.

The Cubanas, who do every chore humanly possible sans appliances, are a cross between '50s housewives and '80s superwomen here. They do it all unquestioningly, and work full time for pennies.

The men sit back, watch TV or drink on their porches with friends, when they're not looking for a nicer, less tired female. It's like getting a new pair of shoes. You can't have too many!

From where does this sense of entitlement come?

As I did meet very respectful elderly Cubanos, who were around before the Revolution, I've developed a theory.

Since 1958, Castro has decided the lives of all Cuban men.

Free will exists mainly in drinking and womanizing.

What else can a Cubano do? He can't start a business or run an empire. He can't make more money for his family. He can't buy his wife flowers, or take her to a nice restaurant or even out for drinks.

He is Castro-ated.

For example, pornography is totally illegal. As in, even Playboy. No matter your stance on it, Americans can make their own decisions on the issue.

Drug laws are draconian. Of course drugs are illegal here, too, but most Amer-icans can investigate them on their own.

But Castro is the father Cubanos cannot outgrow.

The key to growing up is figuring these things out for yourself. Americans experiment and come to their own conclusions, addictions or 12 Step groups.

That's my theory on the post-Revolutionary Cuban male.

Of course I've generalized for the fun factor.

I think I've squeezed all the fodder I can out of my 2009 stay in Cuba, and as I'm sure you can tell, I'm back to being a cynical, sarcastic Americana, so until the next voyage, hasta la vista.

Goodbye for now, Cuba. Gracias.